On the Grave of My Privilege

I am trans.
I am Filipino.
I am queer.
I am albino.
I am slash
in man / woman.

The lowest rung. Abject of abjects.

Yet you see me, as,

I'm like a privilege machine made of broken parts
held together by the string of perception.

Take away a part and the spring will unfurl, the
edifice unravel.


Had I been born not white, not mutant
You would see me as mistake,
a half-man freak
because you could tell my face
is too man for the Oriental doll
picture in your mind
when you examine my race.

How f'd, for life to be better as an ill-visioned albino
then a fully abled visible racial minor key.

Had I been born not trans or slash, I would be
a half-baked potato
of a feminine man who loves men
queer of queers and, damning of damnings:

Had I been born not queer I would
to you be weird
because I would want women as
a woman when
I could be a man with women and
why take off your penis for that?

And if I weren't Filipino
then my body would,
chances are,
not be
for white.

And so, oh panel of judges
get out your 10's for
I get the perfect score,
technical merit plus artistic expression
in my quintiple somersault of
for an unnative self
and you hand me the medal of privilege I
wear around my neck,
like a tombstone staked
into my soil.

Top Ten Awkward Questions I've Been Asked By People Who Don't Know I'm Trans

10. You have such athletic shoulders. Are you a swimmer? [More like a drowner.]

9. Do you have an extra tampon? [Damnit, I keep forgetting to get one.]

8. What do you use for birth control? [Nothing! Er, condoms.]

7. Why is your voice so low? Do you smoke? {No, I just like being sultry.]

6. What were you like as a little girl? [I was like a little boy.]

5. How did you lose your virginity? [Which one?]

4. Doesn't seeing that baby just make your uterus ache? [Maybe the spiritual one, yes.]

3. OMG you're so bitchy. Do you have PMS? [Nope, born this way.]

2. Do you and your boyfriend plan to have kids someday? [Nope, even if I can.]

1. What was the date of your last period? [Um, never?]

3 Reasons Friends(+) Thought I Might Be Trans

  1. "You have sociolinguistic speech patterns reminiscent of a gay man, but I figured you're from California and they all just sound gay over there."
  2. "I noticed that you were unusually assertive for a woman, but I figured you were just American."
  3. "It wasn't very hard for me to notice that you don't have a cervix."